LIFE’S LESSONS
By Henrylito D. Tacio
“Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.” – Proverbs 26:20
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Gossip is fun because it proves that all people – even the rich and famous, the handsome and beautiful – are human beings. They are just like you and me. They commit blunders, errors, and faux pas.
But gossip – if not verified and mostly they aren’t – can ruin a person’s reputation.
Marilyn was an attractive widow with three children who just moved to a barangay. In a few weeks, she was the most talked-about woman. She was too pretty; several men had been seen visiting her; she was a poor housekeeper; her children ran the streets and ate at the neighbor’s. She was lazy and spent most of her time lying on the sofa reading. Such was the conversation among the neighbors.
One morning, Marilyn collapsed at the public market, and the truth soon came out. She was suffering from an incurable disease and could not do her housework. She sent the children away when drugs could not control her pain.
“I wanted my children to think of me as always happy,” she said. “I wanted to pass away some time alone so they would never know.”
The men who visited her were her old family doctor, the lawyer who looked after her estate, and her husband’s brother.
“Gossip is never fatal until it is denied,” wrote Booth Tarkington, author of The Magnificent Ambersons. “Gossip goes on about every human being alive and about all the dead that are alive enough to be remembered, and yet almost never does any harm until some defender makes a controversy. Gossip’s a nasty thing, but it’s sickly, and if people of good intentions will leave it entirely alone, it will die, ninety-nine times out of a hundred.”
Although the town was kind to Marilyn for the remaining months of her life, the gossipers never forage themselves.
Gossip is not a new invention. It has been around since time immemorial. “Evolutionary psychologists believe that our preoccupation with the lives of others is a byproduct of a prehistoric brain,” wrote Frank T. McAndrew is a feature syndicated by the Associated Press.
These scientists believe that since “our prehistoric ancestors lived in relatively small groups” that “they knew one another intimately.”
McAndrew further wrote: “In order to ward off enemies and survive in their harsh natural environment, our ancestors needed to cooperate with in-group members. But they also recognized that these same in-group members were their main competitors for mates and limited resources.”
In modern times, however, “gossip” has taken a new level. It simply means “spreading of rumor and misinformation, often through excited conversation over scandals.”
Mostly, people don’t admit they are involved in gossip. Someone may say, “I don’t mean to talk about her, but…” and what comes next is a litany of untruth facts. The more interesting the gossip, the more likely it is to be untrue.
Sometimes, gossip takes the form of a false sympathy. “I really took pity on my neighbor who is being beaten by her husband once he goes home drunk.” Others commence the conversation with a question: “Is it true that the 17-year-old daughter of our school principal is pregnant?”
While checking my Facebook account recently, I came across this very interesting story posted on the wall of one of my friends. Below is the story:
Once upon a time, an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later, the young man was proven innocent. After he was released, he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.
In court, the old man told the judge: “They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone…”
The judge, before passing the judgment, told the old man: “Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up. On the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come here to hear the sentence.”
The following day, the judge told the old man: “Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.”
The old man said: “I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I didn’t know where to find them.”
The judge then replied: “The same way. Simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything. Let’s all be masters of our mouth, so that we won’t be slaves of our words.”
The lesson of the story: Gossips are worse than thieves, because they still steal another person’s dignity, honor, reputation and credibility which are impossible to restore.
So, remember this: when your feet slip, you can always recover your balance; but when your tongue slips, you cannot recover your words. – ###
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